 | INTERVIEW #2- TEAM ROCKET
Jennifer and Matthew interview Jessie, James, and Meowth. Team Rocket looks around the room, confused.
JESSIE: What happened to your wall?
JENNIFER: We interviewed those stupid twirps. They got annoying, so we put some of them in giant hamster balls, and Ralph rolled Ash through the wall.
JESSIE: Who's Ralph?
MATTHEW: Some short dude who thinks he's a Pokemon.
MEOWTH: What's wrong with being a Pokemon?
MATTHEW: If you actually are one, nothing.
JAMES: I want to be a Pokemon! Charmander!
JESSIE: James, you are not a Pokemon!
James tries to breathe fire at Jessie, but of course nothing comes out. Jessie takes a club and whacks James.
MATTHEW: So, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
MEOWTH: That's a stupid question. How should we know?
MATTHEW: Just wondering.
JENNIFER: So, James, how did your hair get purple?
JAMES: It's natural.
JENNIFER: Speaking of hair, I got back at that stupid scyther of Tracy's for chopping off all of your hair.
JESSIE: Thank you! I hate that scyther, he ruined my beautiful hair.
MATTHEW: How did it grow back so fast?
JAMES: Hey, we had a whole weekend.
MATTHEW: And why are you the only people in the Pokemon world who comb their hair?
JESSIE: We have to look more beautiful than everyone else! That stupid twirp obviously doesn't brush his hair!
JENNIFER: Or wash it! When he was here, he had dandruff and reeked!
JAMES: He always reeks. We've kind of gotten used to it.
MEOWTH: You know that cat in the litter commercial? That's how I feel around Ash!
MATTHEW: Hey, James, why do you always wear a dress? Do you enjoy crossdressing?
JAMES: Oh yes, I love dresses, especially the pink ballerina dress!
JENNIFER: Then why do you wear pants with your uniform?
JAMES: Because the boss won't give me a skirt. I would steal Jessie's but it doesn't fit!
JENNIFER: And Jessie, you look a lot like James' fiancee Jessiebell. Why is that?
JESSIE: I don't! She's so ugly and I'm so beautiful.
MATTHEW: Meowth, do you use a litter box?
MEOWTH: Why do you care?
MATTHEW: A fan wrote in wondering.
JAMES: No, he doesn't.
JESSIE: He always makes us stop the sub so he can find a bush. Sometimes I wish he would!
JAMES: I don't, then he would stink up the sub.
JESSIE: And if we were in the balloon, it could cause an explosion!
JAMES: I guess that's why the boss doesn't want him living in the base with him any more!
MEOWTH: Shut up, you stupid freaks!
Meowth scratches Jessie and James. they fall backwards out of their chairs, then stand up and start kicking Meowth.
JENNIFER: So James, what's it like inside Victreebel's stomach?
JAMES: Smelly. Almost as bad as Ash.
MATTHEW: Did you really think that $300 for a Majicarp was a good deal?
JAMES: That stupid moron tricked me!
JENNIFER: Do you guys hate your boss?
JESSIE, JAMES, MEOWTH: YES!!
JENNIFER: Do you wish he was killed? We could hire someone to do that for you.
JESSIE: No, he makes our paychecks.
MEOWTH: No matter how small they are.
MATTHEW: James and Meowth, why are you so obsessed with food?
JAMES: We get hungry fast.
MEOWTH: And since James spends our paychecks on Majicarps, we don't eat very often.
JESSIE: When we do have money, you two waste it on a buffet!
JAMES: With a buffet, you get the most food for the least money!
MEOWTH: But we still have to steal the dessert!
JENNIFER: I guess eating a lot is a guy thing.
JESSIE: I know, you two need to show some control!
MATTHEW: Meowth, why do you think you need to go to Weight Watchers?
MEOWTH: What?
MATTHEW: You said that in the movie once you'd let go of the Lugia.
MEOWTH: Cuz' we're so fat we slowed down the Lugia.
JENNIFER: That's not very nice, calling Jessie and James fat! Like all anime characters except for Tracy, their skinnier than sticks!
MEOWTH: Well, it couldn't have been just me weighing down the Lugia! They weigh a lot more than I do!
JESSIE: Yeah, right, Meowth! You're such a fat cat!
MEOWTH: I weigh 25 pounds. How much do you weigh?
JESSIE: I'm not telling you that!
MEOWTH: So you're afraid to admit that you're fatter than me?
JAMES: You know, most Meowths weigh 9 pounds. You really do need Weight Watchers. Or maybe it was the twirp weighing down the Lugia.
JESSIE: Yeah, he has been looking a bit fat since he started hanging out with Tracy! Maybe Tracy's eating habits are rubbing off!
MEOWTH: You guys are still fatter than me!
JESSIE: Shut up, Meowth, I would hope I weigh more than a cat!
MATTHEW: Okay, guys, stop fighting! Who hates Blue's Clues?
MEOWTH: She's a dog! I hate dogs!
JAMES: I hate her! I prefer Barney!
JESSIE: That guy she's with is an overgrown twirp!
JENNIFER: So, who wants to help me kill Blue?
JESSIE, JAMES, MEOWTH, MATTHEW: ME!!!
MATTHEW: Let's try to decapitate her!
JAMES: What's that mean?
JESSIE: It means cutting off her head, stupid! It's a good idea!
JAMES: Oh, yeah, I like it too!
MEOWTH: I have a knife we can use back at the sub! It's a real big one, too! But where will I
find 3-fingered gloves?
JAMES: I'll kill it! It's ruining Barney's ratings!
JENNIFER: Okay, let's go!
All 5 leave the room singing, to the tune of the Blue's Clues theme: "We are gonna kill Blue's Clues, We are gonna kill Blue's Clues, We are gonna kill Blue's Clues, cuz it's really fun!"
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