 | INTERVIEW #4- THE ELITE 4
Jennifer and Matthew interview the Elite Four. The Elite Four arrive and see two chairs with the arms broken off.
LANCE: What happened to those chairs?
MATTHEW: What does it look like? The twirps were here a while ago, and we still haven't finished cleaning up. Tracy the twirp sat on them, and they broke. (Everybody sits down).
BRUNO: Hey, I met the twirps. there was no Tracy with them.
LORELEI: I met them too, yes there was!
JENNIFER: But when you met them, they called you a different name, Prima or something. What is your real name?
LORELEI: Where are we?
JENNIFER: (confused) Here.
LORELEI: I have a different name depending on where we are.
MATTHEW: What's your name when you're here? Oh well, I'll call you Bob.
LORELEI: Nowhere is my name Bob!
MATTHEW: That's why I'll call you that, Dude!
LORELEI: I'm not a dude!
MATTHEW: That's why I'll call you that, Dude!
JENNIFER: Matthew, you're strange! Stop harassing our guests! Do you have a daughter, like Jessie from Team Rocket, maybe?
LORELEI: No! I don't look that old, do I?
JENNIFER: No, but it's a rumor I heard somewhere.
MATTHEW: You sure, not even one of your alter-ego freaks?
LORELEI: Yes, I'm sure!
MATTHEW: And how are you today, Hagatha?
AGATHA: It's Agatha.
MATTHEW: Well, I'll call you Hagatha! You're a hag!
AGATHA: Shut up, you're a loser!
MATTHEW: No!
JENNIFER: Yes!
Matthew throws a Pokeball at Agatha. It opens and closes on her nose.
AGATHA: OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matthew rolls on the ground laughing. When he finally recovers and Agatha pulls the Pokeball off her nose,
MATTHEW: So Bruno, why don't you wear a shirt?
BRUNO: Shirts are evil! I despise them!
MATTHEW: And Lance, is it true that you would rather not wear pants?
LANCE: Uhhh... no comment.
JENNIFER: We all know what that means! So did you guys like the twirps, or hate them?
LANCE, AGATHA: Never met them.
LORELEI: They're kind of odd. Ash was so stuck up!
BRUNO: I despise the Brock kid! He hit me with a stick!
MATTHEW: Oh yeah, do you like being hit with sticks?
BRUNO: NO!
MATTHEW: Too bad! (He pulls out a stick and hits Bruno over the head). Did you like it that time?
BRUNO: OW!! NO!
JENNIFER: Lance, why don't you get a hair cut?
LANCE: Uh, I don't know.
AGATHA: Yeah, your hair is hideous!
LANCE: I wouldn't talk, Hag!
BRUNO: Neither would I, Lance-with-no-pants!
LORELEI: Bruno, your hair's not the greatest either. It's kind of Brockish!
BRUNO: I don't look like that stupid kid!
LORELEI: Yes, you do!
MATTHEW: Guys, don't fight , all of your hair looks dumb.
JENNIFER: And so does Matt's. So, Lance, what does your Dragonite eat for supper?
LANCE: Cheese.
MATTHEW: And for lunch?
LANCE: Cheese.
MATTHEW: Does it fart a lot?
LANCE: Not as much as Bruno!
BRUNO: Don't laugh at me! I'm proud of it!
LORELEI: We have gas masks at the Indigo Plateau!
BRUNO: It really helps me win battles! My opponents lose concentration, and a few even passed out.
AGATHA: That's why we all have our own gyms!
MATTHEW: What do you think of Gary?
AGATHA: We despise him! He cheated like Bruno does, that's the only reason he beat us!
BRUNO: Farting is not cheating! But Gary still sucks! He puts no love into his farts!
JENNIFER: Okay, Bruno, you're sharing too much! So, what do you guys do when there's no one wanting to battle you?
BRUNO: I practice my art of fart!
MATTHEW: Uh...Okay, how about you, Lorelei?
BRUNO: You didn't even listen to my technique!
MATTHEW: We've heard too much already! Lorelei?
LORELEI: I think of more names for myself.
LANCE: I burn my pants! ....Oops! No! Did I say that!
AGATHA: Yes. But I meditate. I'm trying to contact my friends, who are all dead from old age.
JENNIFER: So, how did you become the Elite Four?
AGATHA: The original Elite Four was formed a long long time ago. I was an original member, and there were only 2 of us back then. Back then, all you had to do to join was bribe the admissions dude.
LANCE: Now you have to beat all the gym leaders in the world and win a gold medal in the Pokemon Olympics.
JENNIFER: And when did you guys win your medals?
AGATHA: I won mine in 2000.
MATTHEW: But that was last year!
AGATHA: 2000 BC!
BRUNO: I won in 1978. That's AD.
LANCE: I won in 1984. I won when I was only 12, the youngest ever!
LORELEI: Stop showing off! You were given your Dragonite already evolved! I won in 1996.
JENNIFER: So how come that's not the order you are in when someone battles you?
LANCE: Agatha was already there when Bruno came, and gas couldn't hurt her ghost pokemon. Then, when I joined, I beat Bruno with the use of a gas mask. But when I opened the door to Agatha's gym, the stink came in, and she had a heart attack. I won by default. Lorelei couldn't beat Bruno because of the reek.
MATTHEW: So it goes in order of winning battles?
BRUNO: Yeah. But if I had chili before battling, I could beat Lance even with a gas mask!
JENNIFER: So, what's the most interesting non-gas related thing that has happened to you as members of the Elite Four?
BRUNO: A miltank (cow Pokemon) broke in and ate my socks!
AGATHA: Yummy!
MATTHEW: Where do we find these weirdoes?
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